April Seventh, 1928 (3 of 3)
What is it he wants, T. P. Mother said. Cant you play with him and keep him quiet.
He want to go down yonder and look through the gate, T. P. said.
Well, he cannot do it, Mother said. It’s raining. You will just have to play with him and keep him quiet. You, Benjamin.
Aint nothing going to quiet him, T. P. said. He think if he down to the gate, Miss Caddy come back.
Nonsense, Mother said.
I could hear them talking. I went out the door and I couldn’t hear them, and I went down to the gate, where the girls passed with their booksatchels. They looked at me, walking fast, with their heads turned. I tried to say, but they went on, and I went along the fence, trying to say, and they went faster. Then they were running and I came to the corner of the fence and I couldn’t go any further, and I held to the fence, looking after them and trying to say.
“You, Benjy.” T. P. said. “What you doing, slipping out. Dont you know Dilsey whip you.”
“You cant do no good, moaning and slobbering through the fence.” T. P. said. “You done skeered them chillen. Look at them, walking on the other side of the street.”
How did he get out, Father said. Did you leave the gate unlatched when you came in, Jason.
Of course not, Jason said. Dont you know I’ve got better sense than to do that. Do you think I wanted anything like this to happen. This family is bad enough, God knows. I could have told you, all the time. I reckon you’ll send him to Jackson, now. If Mrs Burgess dont shoot him first.
Hush, Father said.
I could have told you, all the time, Jason said.
It was open when I touched it, and I held to it in the twilight. I wasn’t crying, and I tried to stop, watching the girls coming along in the twilight. I wasn’t crying.
“There he is.”
They stopped.
“He cant get out. He wont hurt anybody, anyway. Come on.”
“I’m scared to. I’m scared. I’m going to cross the street.”
“He cant get out.”
I wasn’t crying.
“Dont be a ’fraid cat. Come on.”
They came on in the twilight. I wasn’t crying, and I held to the gate. They came slow.
“I’m scared.”
“He wont hurt you. I pass here every day. He just runs along the fence.”
They came on. I opened the gate and they stopped, turning. I was trying to say, and I caught her, trying to say, and she screamed and I was trying to say and trying and the bright shapes began to stop and I tried to get out. I tried to get it off of my face, but the bright shapes were going again. They were going up the hill to where it fell away and I tried to cry. But when I breathed in, I couldn’t breathe out again to cry, and I tried to keep from falling off the hill and I fell off the hill into the bright, whirling shapes.
Here, loony, Luster said. Here come some. Hush your slobbering and moaning, now.
They came to the flag. He took it out and they hit, then he put the flag back.
“Mister.” Luster said.
He looked around. “What.” he said.
“Want to buy a golf ball.” Luster said.
“Let’s see it.” he said. He came to the fence and Luster reached the ball through.
“Where’d you get it.” he said.
“Found it.” Luster said.
“I know that.” he said. “Where. In somebody’s golf bag.”
“I found it laying over here in the yard.” Luster said. “I’ll take a quarter for it.”
“What makes you think it’s yours.” he said.
“I found it.” Luster said.
“Then find yourself another one.” he said. He put it in his pocket and went away.
“I got to go to that show tonight.” Luster said.
“That so.” he said. He went to the table. “Fore, caddie.” he said. He hit.
“I’ll declare.” Luster said. “You fusses when you dont see them and you fusses when you does. Why cant you hush. Dont you reckon folks gets tired of listening to you all the time. Here. You dropped your jimson weed.” He picked it up and gave it back to me. “You needs a new one. You ’bout wore that one out.” We stood at the fence and watched them.
“That white man hard to get along with.” Luster said. “You see him take my ball.” They went on. We went on along the fence. We came to the garden and we couldn’t go any further. I held to the fence and looked through the flower spaces. They went away.
“Now you aint got nothing to moan about.” Luster said. “Hush up. I the one got something to moan over, you aint. Here. Whyn’t you hold on to that weed. You be bellering about it next.” He gave me the flower. “Where you heading now.”
Our shadows were on the grass. They got to the trees before we did. Mine got there first. Then we got there, and then the shadows were gone. There was a flower in the bottle. I put the other flower in it.
“Aint you a grown man, now.” Luster said. “Playing with two weeds in a bottle. You know what they going to do with you when Miss Cahline die. They going to send you to Jackson, where you belong. Mr Jason say so. Where you can hold the bars all day long with the rest of the looneys and slobber. How you like that.”
Luster knocked the flowers over with his hand. “That’s what they’ll do to you at Jackson when you starts bellering.”
I tried to pick up the flowers. Luster picked them up, and they went away. I began to cry.
“Beller.” Luster said. “Beller. You want something to beller about. All right, then. Caddy.” he whispered. “Caddy. Beller now. Caddy.”
“Luster.” Dilsey said from the kitchen.
The flowers came back.
“Hush.” Luster said. “Here they is. Look. It’s fixed back just like it was at first. Hush, now.”
“You, Luster.” Dilsey said.
“Yessum.” Luster said. “We coming. You done played hell. Get up.” He jerked my arm and I got up. We went out of the trees. Our shadows were gone.
“Hush.” Luster said. “Look at all them folks watching you. Hush.”
“You bring him on here.” Dilsey said. She came down the steps.
“What you done to him now.” she said.
“Aint done nothing to him.” Luster said. “He just started bellering.”
“Yes you is.” Dilsey said. “You done something to him. Where you been.”
“Over yonder under them cedars.” Luster said.
“Getting Quentin all riled up.” Dilsey said. “Why cant you keep him away from her. Dont you know she dont like him where she at.”
“Got as much time for him as I is.” Luster said. “He aint none of my uncle.”
“Dont you sass me, nigger boy.” Dilsey said.
“I aint done nothing to him.” Luster said. “He was playing there, and all of a sudden he started bellering.”
“Is you been projecking with his graveyard.” Dilsey said.
“I aint touched his graveyard.” Luster said.
“Dont lie to me, boy.” Dilsey said. We went up the steps and into the kitchen. Dilsey opened the firedoor and drew a chair up in front of it and I sat down. I hushed.
What you want to get her started for, Dilsey said. Whyn’t you keep him out of there.
He was just looking at the fire, Caddy said. Mother was telling him his new name. We didn’t mean to get her started.
I knows you didn’t, Dilsey said. Him at one end of the house and her at the other. You let my things alone, now. Dont you touch nothing till I get back.
“Aint you shamed of yourself.” Dilsey said. “Teasing him.” She set the cake on the table.
“I aint been teasing him.” Luster said. “He was playing with that bottle full of dogfennel and all of a sudden he started up bellering. You heard him.”
“You aint done nothing to his flowers.” Dilsey said.
“I aint touched his graveyard.” Luster said. “What I want with his truck. I was just hunting for that quarter.”
“You lost it, did you.” Dilsey said. She lit the candles on the cake. Some of them were little ones. Some were big ones cut into little pieces. “I told you to go put it away. Now I reckon you want me to get you another one from Frony.”
“I got to go to that show, Benjy or no Benjy.” Luster said. “I aint going to follow him around day and night both.”
“You going to do just what he want you to, nigger boy.” Dilsey said. “You hear me.”
“Aint I always done it.” Luster said. “Dont I always does what he wants. Dont I, Benjy.”
“Then you keep it up.” Dilsey said. “Bringing him in here, bawling and getting her started too. You all go ahead and eat this cake, now, before Jason come. I dont want him jumping on me about a cake I bought with my own money. Me baking a cake here, with him counting every egg that comes into this kitchen. See can you let him alone now, less you dont want to go to that show tonight.”
Dilsey went away.
“You cant blow out no candles.” Luster said. “Watch me blow them out.” He leaned down and puffed his face. The candles went away. I began to cry. “Hush.” Luster said. “Here. Look at the fire whiles I cuts this cake.”
I could hear the clock, and I could hear Caddy standing behind me, and I could hear the roof. It’s still raining, Caddy said. I hate rain. I hate everything. And then her head came into my lap and she was crying, holding me, and I began to cry. Then I looked at the fire again and the bright, smooth shapes went again. I could hear the clock and the roof and Caddy.
I ate some cake. Luster’s hand came and took another piece. I could hear him eating. I looked at the fire.
A long piece of wire came across my shoulder. It went to the door, and then the fire went away. I began to cry.
“What you howling for now.” Luster said. “Look there.” The fire was there. I hushed. “Cant you set and look at the fire and be quiet like mammy told you.” Luster said. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Here. Here’s you some more cake.”
“What you done to him now.” Dilsey said. “Cant you never let him alone.”
“I was just trying to get him to hush up and not sturb Miss Cahline.” Luster said. “Something got him started again.”
“And I know what that something name.” Dilsey said. “I’m going to get Versh to take a stick to you when he comes home. You just trying yourself. You been doing it all day. Did you take him down to the branch.”
“Nome.” Luster said. “We been right here in this yard all day, like you said.”
His hand came for another piece of cake. Dilsey hit his hand. “Reach it again, and I chop it right off with this here butcher knife.” Dilsey said. “I bet he aint had one piece of it.”
“Yes he is.” Luster said. “He already had twice as much as me. Ask him if he aint.”
“Reach hit one more time.” Dilsey said. “Just reach it.”
That’s right, Dilsey said. I reckon it’ll be my time to cry next. Reckon Maury going to let me cry on him a while, too.
His name’s Benjy now, Caddy said.
How come it is, Dilsey said. He aint wore out the name he was born with yet, is he.
Benjamin came out of the bible, Caddy said. It’s a better name for him than Maury was.
How come it is, Dilsey said.
Mother says it is, Caddy said.
Huh, Dilsey said. Name aint going to help him. Hurt him, neither. Folks dont have no luck, changing names. My name been Dilsey since fore I could remember and it be Dilsey when they’s long forgot me.
How will they know it’s Dilsey, when it’s long forgot, Dilsey, Caddy said.
It’ll be in the Book, honey, Dilsey said. Writ out.
Can you read it, Caddy said.
Wont have to, Dilsey said. They’ll read it for me. All I got to do is say Ise here.
The long wire came across my shoulder, and the fire went away. I began to cry.
Dilsey and Luster fought.
“I seen you.” Dilsey said. “Oho, I seen you.” She dragged Luster out of the corner, shaking him. “Wasn’t nothing bothering him, was they. You just wait till your pappy come home. I wish I was young like I use to be, I’d tear them years right off your head. I good mind to lock you up in that cellar and not let you go to that show tonight, I sho is.”
“Ow, mammy.” Luster said. “Ow, mammy.”
I put my hand out to where the fire had been.
“Catch him.” Dilsey said. “Catch him back.”
My hand jerked back and I put it in my mouth and Dilsey caught me. I could still hear the clock between my voice. Dilsey reached back and hit Luster on the head. My voice was going loud every time.
“Get that soda.” Dilsey said. She took my hand out of my mouth. My voice went louder then and my hand tried to go back to my mouth, but Dilsey held it. My voice went loud. She sprinkled soda on my hand.
“Look in the pantry and tear a piece off of that rag hanging on the nail.” she said. “Hush, now. You dont want to make your ma sick again, does you. Here, look at the fire. Dilsey make your hand stop hurting in just a minute. Look at the fire.” She opened the fire door. I looked at the fire, but my hand didn’t stop and I didn’t stop. My hand was trying to go to my mouth but Dilsey held it.
She wrapped the cloth around it. Mother said,
“What is it now. Cant I even be sick in peace. Do I have to get up out of bed to come down to him, with two grown negroes to take care of him.”
“He all right now.” Dilsey said. “He going to quit. He just burnt his hand a little.”
“With two grown negroes, you must bring him into the house, bawling.” Mother said. “You got him started on purpose, because you know I’m sick.” She came and stood by me. “Hush.” she said. “Right this minute. Did you give him this cake.”
“I bought it.” Dilsey said. “It never come out of Jason’s pantry. I fixed him some birthday.”
“Do you want to poison him with that cheap store cake.” Mother said. “Is that what you are trying to do. Am I never to have one minute’s peace.”
“You go on back up stairs and lay down.” Dilsey said. “It’ll quit smarting him in a minute now, and he’ll hush. Come on, now.”
“And leave him down here for you all to do something else to.” Mother said. “How can I lie there, with him bawling down here. Benjamin. Hush this minute.”
“They aint nowhere else to take him.” Dilsey said. “We aint got the room we use to have. He cant stay out in the yard, crying where all the neighbors can see him.”
“I know, I know.” Mother said. “It’s all my fault. I’ll be gone soon, and you and Jason will both get along better.” She began to cry.
“You hush that, now.” Dilsey said. “You’ll get yourself down again. You come on back up stairs. Luster going to take him to the liberry and play with him till I get his supper done.”
Dilsey and Mother went out.
“Hush up.” Luster said. “You hush up. You want me to burn your other hand for you. You aint hurt. Hush up.”
“Here.” Dilsey said. “Stop crying, now.” She gave me the slipper, and I hushed. “Take him to the liberry.” she said. “And if I hear him again, I going to whip you myself.”
We went to the library. Luster turned on the light. The windows went black, and the dark tall place on the wall came and I went and touched it. It was like a door, only it wasn’t a door.
The fire came behind me and I went to the fire and sat on the floor, holding the slipper. The fire went higher. It went onto the cushion in Mother’s chair.
“Hush up.” Luster said. “Cant you never get done for a while. Here I done built you a fire, and you wont even look at it.”
Your name is Benjy. Caddy said. Do you hear. Benjy. Benjy.
Dont tell him that, Mother said. Bring him here.
Caddy lifted me under the arms.
Get up, Mau—I mean Benjy, she said.
Dont try to carry him, Mother said. Cant you lead him over here. Is that too much for you to think of.
I can carry him, Caddy said. “Let me carry him up, Dilsey.”
“Go on, Minute.” Dilsey said. “You aint big enough to tote a flea. You go on and be quiet, like Mr. Jason said.”
There was a light at the top of the stairs. Father was there, in his shirt sleeves. The way he looked said Hush. Caddy whispered,
“Is Mother sick.”
Versh set me down and we went into Mother’s room. There was a fire. It was rising and falling on the walls. There was another fire in the mirror. I could smell the sickness. It was a cloth folded on Mother’s head. Her hair was on the pillow. The fire didn’t reach it, but it shone on her hand, where her rings were jumping.
“Come and tell Mother goodnight.” Caddy said. We went to the bed. The fire went out of the mirror. Father got up from the bed and lifted me up and Mother put her hand on my head.
“What time is it.” Mother said. Her eyes were closed.
“Ten minutes to seven.” Father said.
“It’s too early for him to go to bed.” Mother said. “He’ll wake up at daybreak, and I simply cannot bear another day like today.”
“There, there.” Father said. He touched Mother’s face.
“I know I’m nothing but a burden to you.” Mother said. “But I’ll be gone soon. Then you will be rid of my bothering.”
“Hush.” Father said. “I’ll take him downstairs awhile.” He took me up. “Come on, old fellow. Let’s go downstairs awhile. We’ll have to be quiet while Quentin is studying, now.”
Caddy went and leaned her face over the bed and Mother’s hand came into the firelight. Her rings jumped on Caddy’s back.
Mother’s sick, Father said. Dilsey will put you to bed. Where’s Quentin.
Versh getting him, Dilsey said.
Father stood and watched us go past. We could hear Mother in her room. Caddy said “Hush.” Jason was still climbing the stairs. He had his hands in his pockets.
“You all must be good tonight.” Father said. “And be quiet, so you wont disturb Mother.”
“We’ll be quiet.” Caddy said. “You must be quiet now, Jason.” she said. We tiptoed.
We could hear the roof. I could see the fire in the mirror too. Caddy lifted me again.
“Come on, now.” she said. “Then you can come back to the fire. Hush, now.”
“Candace.” Mother said.
“Hush, Benjy.” Caddy said. “Mother wants you a minute. Like a good boy. Then you can come back. Benjy.”
Caddy let me down, and I hushed.
“Let him stay here, Mother. When he’s through looking at the fire, then you can tell him.”
“Candace.” Mother said. Caddy stooped and lifted me. We staggered. “Candace.” Mother said.
“Hush.” Caddy said. “You can still see it. Hush.”
“Bring him here.” Mother said. “He’s too big for you to carry. You must stop trying. You’ll injure your back. All of our women have prided themselves on their carriage. Do you want to look like a washer-woman.”
“He’s not too heavy.” Caddy said. “I can carry him.”
“Well, I dont want him carried, then.” Mother said. “A five year old child. No, no. Not in my lap. Let him stand up.”
“If you’ll hold him, he’ll stop.” Caddy said. “Hush.” she said. “You can go right back. Here. Here’s your cushion. See.”
“Dont, Candace.” Mother said.
“Let him look at it and he’ll be quiet.” Caddy said. “Hold up just a minute while I slip it out. There, Benjy. Look.”
I looked at it and hushed.
“You humour him too much.” Mother said. “You and your father both. You dont realise that I am the one who has to pay for it. Damuddy spoiled Jason that way and it took him two years to outgrow it, and I am not strong enough to go through the same thing with Benjamin.”
“You dont need to bother with him.” Caddy said. “I like to take care of him. Dont I, Benjy.”
“Candace.” Mother said. “I told you not to call him that. It was bad enough when your father insisted on calling you by that silly nickname, and I will not have him called by one. Nicknames are vulgar. Only common people use them. Benjamin.” she said.
“Look at me.” Mother said.
“Benjamin.” she said. She took my face in her hands and turned it to hers.
“Benjamin.” she said. “Take that cushion away, Candace.”
“He’ll cry.” Caddy said.
“Take that cushion away, like I told you.” Mother said. “He must learn to mind.”
The cushion went away.
“Hush, Benjy.” Caddy said.
“You go over there and sit down.” Mother said. “Benjamin.” She held my face to hers.
“Stop that.” she said. “Stop it.”
But I didn’t stop and Mother caught me in her arms and began to cry, and I cried. Then the cushion came back and Caddy held it above Mother’s head. She drew Mother back in the chair and Mother lay crying against the red and yellow cushion.
“Hush, Mother.” Caddy said. “You go upstairs and lay down, so you can be sick. I’ll go get Dilsey.” She led me to the fire and I looked at the bright, smooth shapes. I could hear the fire and the roof.
Father took me up. He smelled like rain.
“Well, Benjy.” he said. “Have you been a good boy today.”
Caddy and Jason were fighting in the mirror.
“You, Caddy.” Father said.
They fought. Jason began to cry.
“Caddy.” Father said. Jason was crying. He wasn’t fighting anymore but we could see Caddy fighting in the mirror and Father put me down and went into the mirror and fought too. He lifted Caddy up. She fought. Jason lay on the floor, crying. He had the scissors in his hand. Father held Caddy.
“He cut up all Benjy’s dolls.” Caddy said. “I’ll slit his gizzle.”
“Candace.” Father said.
“I will.” Caddy said. “I will.” She fought. Father held her. She kicked at Jason. He rolled into the corner, out of the mirror. Father brought Caddy to the fire. They were all out of the mirror. Only the fire was in it. Like the fire was in a door.
“Stop that.” Father said. “Do you want to make Mother sick in her room.”
Caddy stopped. “He cut up all the dolls Mau—Benjy and I made.” Caddy said. “He did it just for meanness.”
“I didn’t.” Jason said. He was sitting up, crying. “I didn’t know they were his. I just thought they were some old papers.”
“You couldn’t help but know.” Caddy said. “You did it just.”
“Hush.” Father said. “Jason.” he said.
“I’ll make you some more tomorrow.” Caddy said. “We’ll make a lot of them. Here, you can look at the cushion, too.”
Jason came in.
I kept telling you to hush, Luster said.
What’s the matter now, Jason said.
“He just trying hisself.” Luster said. “That the way he been going on all day.”
“Why dont you let him alone, then.” Jason said. “If you cant keep him quiet, you’ll have to take him out to the kitchen. The rest of us cant shut ourselves up in a room like Mother does.”
“Mammy say keep him out the kitchen till she get supper.” Luster said.
“Then play with him and keep him quiet.” Jason said. “Do I have to work all day and then come home to a mad house.” He opened the paper and read it.
You can look at the fire and the mirror and the cushion too, Caddy said. You wont have to wait until supper to look at the cushion, now. We could hear the roof. We could hear Jason too, crying loud beyond the wall.
Dilsey said, “You come, Jason. You letting him alone, is you.”
“Yessum.” Luster said.
“Where Quentin.” Dilsey said. “Supper near bout ready.”
“I dont know’m.” Luster said. “I aint seen her.”
Dilsey went away. “Quentin.” she said in the hall. “Quentin. Supper ready.”
We could hear the roof. Quentin smelled like rain, too.
What did Jason do, he said.
He cut up all Benjy’s dolls, Caddy said.
Mother said to not call him Benjy, Quentin said. He sat on the rug by us. I wish it wouldn’t rain, he said. You cant do anything.
You’ve been in a fight, Caddy said. Haven’t you.
It wasn’t much, Quentin said.
You can tell it, Caddy said. Father’ll see it.
I dont care, Quentin said. I wish it wouldn’t rain.
Quentin said, “Didn’t Dilsey say supper was ready.”
“Yessum.” Luster said. Jason looked at Quentin. Then he read the paper again. Quentin came in. “She say it bout ready.” Luster said. Quentin jumped down in Mother’s chair. Luster said,
“Mr Jason.”
“What.” Jason said.
“Let me have two bits.” Luster said.
“What for.” Jason said.
“To go to the show tonight.” Luster said.
“I thought Dilsey was going to get a quarter from Frony for you.” Jason said.
“She did.” Luster said. “I lost it. Me and Benjy hunted all day for that quarter. You can ask him.”
“Then borrow one from him.” Jason said. “I have to work for mine.” He read the paper. Quentin looked at the fire. The fire was in her eyes and on her mouth. Her mouth was red.
“I tried to keep him away from there.” Luster said.
“Shut your mouth.” Quentin said. Jason looked at her.
“What did I tell you I was going to do if I saw you with that show fellow again.” he said. Quentin looked at the fire. “Did you hear me.” Jason said.
“I heard you.” Quentin said. “Why dont you do it, then.”
“Dont you worry.” Jason said.
“I’m not.” Quentin said. Jason read the paper again.
I could hear the roof. Father leaned forward and looked at Quentin.
Hello, he said. Who won.
“Nobody.” Quentin said. “They stopped us. Teachers.”
“Who was it.” Father said. “Will you tell.”
“It was all right.” Quentin said. “He was as big as me.”
“That’s good.” Father said. “Can you tell what it was about.”
“It wasn’t anything.” Quentin said. “He said he would put a frog in her desk and she wouldn’t dare to whip him.”
“Oh.” Father said. “She. And then what.”
“Yes, sir.” Quentin said. “And then I kind of hit him.”
We could hear the roof and the fire, and a snuffling outside the door.
“Where was he going to get a frog in November.” Father said.
“I dont know, sir.” Quentin said.
We could hear them.
“Jason.” Father said. We could hear Jason.
“Jason.” Father said. “Come in here and stop that.”
We could hear the roof and the fire and Jason.
“Stop that, now.” Father said. “Do you want me to whip you again.” Father lifted Jason up into the chair by him. Jason snuffled. We could hear the fire and the roof. Jason snuffled a little louder.
“One more time.” Father said. We could hear the fire and the roof.
Dilsey said, All right. You all can come on to supper.
Versh smelled like rain. He smelled like a dog, too. We could hear the fire and the roof.
We could hear Caddy walking fast. Father and Mother looked at the door. Caddy passed it, walking fast, She didn’t look. She walked fast.
“Candace.” Mother said. Caddy stopped walking.
“Yes, Mother.” she said.
“Hush, Caroline.” Father said.
“Come here.” Mother said.
“Hush, Caroline.” Father said. “Let her alone.”
Caddy came to the door and stood there, looking at Father and Mother. Her eyes flew at me, and away. I began to cry. It went loud and I got up. Caddy came in and stood with her back to the wall, looking at me. I went toward her, crying, and she shrank against the wall and I saw her eyes and I cried louder and pulled at her dress. She put her hands out but I pulled at her dress. Her eyes ran.
Versh said, Your name Benjamin now. You know how come your name Benjamin now. They making a bluegum out of you. Mammy say in old time your granpa changed nigger’s name, and he turn preacher, and when they look at him, he bluegum too. Didn’t use to be bluegum, neither. And when family woman look him in the eye in the full of the moon, chile born bluegum. And one evening, when they was about a dozen them bluegum chillen running round the place, he never come home. Possum hunters found him in the woods, et clean. And you know who et him. Them bluegum chillen did.
We were in the hall. Caddy was still looking at me. Her hand was against her mouth and I saw her eyes and I cried. We went up the stairs. She stopped again, against the wall, looking at me and I cried and she went on and I came on, crying, and she shrank against the wall, looking at me. She opened the door to her room, but I pulled at her dress and we went to the bathroom and she stood against the door, looking at me. Then she put her arm across her face and I pushed at her, crying.
What are you doing to him, Jason said. Why cant you let him alone.
I aint touching him, Luster said. He been doing this way all day long. He needs whipping.
He needs to be sent to Jackson, Quentin said. How can anybody live in a house like this.
If you dont like it, young lady, you’d better get out, Jason said.
I’m going to, Quentin said. Dont you worry.
Versh said, “You move back some, so I can dry my legs off.” He shoved me back a little. “Dont you start bellering, now. You can still see it. That’s all you have to do. You aint had to be out in the rain like I is. You’s born lucky and dont know it.” He lay on his back before the fire.
“You know how come your name Benjamin now.” Versh said. “Your mamma too proud for you. What mammy say.”
“You be still there and let me dry my legs off.” Versh said. “Or you know what I’ll do. I’ll skin your rinktum.”
We could hear the fire and the roof and Versh.
Versh got up quick and jerked his legs back. Father said, “All right, Versh.”
“I’ll feed him tonight.” Caddy said. “Sometimes he cries when Versh feeds him.”
“Take this tray up,” Dilsey said. “And hurry back and feed Benjy.”
“Dont you want Caddy to feed you.” Caddy said.
Has he got to keep that old dirty slipper on the table, Quentin said. Why dont you feed him in the kitchen. It’s like eating with a pig.
If you dont like the way we eat, you’d better not come to the table, Jason said.
Steam came off of Roskus. He was sitting in front of the stove. The oven door was open and Roskus had his feet in it. Steam came off the bowl. Caddy put the spoon into my mouth easy. There was a black spot on the inside of the bowl.
Now, now, Dilsey said. He aint going to bother you no more.
It got down below the mark. Then the bowl was empty. It went away. “He’s hungry tonight.” Caddy said. The bowl came back. I couldn’t see the spot. Then I could. “He’s starved, tonight.” Caddy said. “Look how much he’s eaten.”
Yes he will, Quentin said. You all send him out to spy on me. I hate this house. I’m going to run away.
Roskus said, “It going to rain all night.”
You’ve been running a long time, not to ’ve got any further off than mealtime, Jason said.
See if I dont, Quentin said.
“Then I dont know what I going to do.” Dilsey said. “It caught me in the hip so bad now I cant scarcely move. Climbing them stairs all evening.”
Oh, I wouldn’t be surprised, Jason said. I wouldn’t be surprised at anything you’d do.
Quentin threw her napkin on the table.
Hush your mouth, Jason, Dilsey said. She went and put her arm around Quentin. Sit down, honey, Dilsey said. He ought to be shamed of hisself, throwing what aint your fault up to you.
“She sulling again, is she.” Roskus said.
“Hush your mouth.” Dilsey said.
Quentin pushed Dilsey away. She looked at Jason. Her mouth was red. She picked up her glass of water and swung her arm back, looking at Jason. Dilsey caught her arm. They fought. The glass broke on the table, and the water ran into the table. Quentin was running.
“Mother’s sick again.” Caddy said.
“Sho she is.” Dilsey said. “Weather like this make anybody sick. When you going to get done eating, boy.”
Goddamn you, Quentin said. Goddamn you. We could hear her running on the stairs. We went to the library.
Caddy gave me the cushion, and I could look at the cushion and the mirror and the fire.
“We must be quiet while Quentin’s studying.” Father said. “What are you doing, Jason.”
“Nothing.” Jason said.
“Suppose you come over here to do it, then.” Father said.
Jason came out of the corner.
“What are you chewing.” Father said.
“Nothing.” Jason said.
“He’s chewing paper again.” Caddy said.
“Come here, Jason.” Father said.
Jason threw into the fire. It hissed, uncurled, turning black. Then it was gray. Then it was gone. Caddy and Father and Jason were in Mother’s chair. Jason’s eyes were puffed shut and his mouth moved, like tasting. Caddy’s head was on Father’s shoulder. Her hair was like fire, and little points of fire were in her eyes, and I went and Father lifted me into the chair too, and Caddy held me. She smelled like trees.
She smelled like trees. In the corner it was dark, but I could see the window. I squatted there, holding the slipper. I couldn’t see it, but my hands saw it, and I could hear it getting night, and my hands saw the slipper but I couldn’t see myself, but my hands could see the slipper, and I squatted there, hearing it getting dark.
Here you is, Luster said. Look what I got. He showed it to me. You know where I got it. Miss Quentin gave it to me. I knowed they couldn’t keep me out. What you doing, off in here. I thought you done slipped back out doors. Aint you done enough moaning and slobbering today, without hiding off in this here empty room, mumbling and taking on. Come on here to bed, so I can get up there before it starts. I cant fool with you all night tonight. Just let them horns toot the first toot and I done gone.
We didn’t go to our room.
“This is where we have the measles.” Caddy said. “Why do we have to sleep in here tonight.”
“What you care where you sleep.” Dilsey said. She shut the door and sat down and began to undress me. Jason began to cry. “Hush.” Dilsey said.
“I want to sleep with Damuddy.” Jason said.
“She’s sick.” Caddy said. “You can sleep with her when she gets well. Cant he, Dilsey.”
“Hush, now.” Dilsey said. Jason hushed.
“Our nighties are here, and everything.” Caddy said. “It’s like moving.”
“And you better get into them.” Dilsey said. “You be unbuttoning Jason.”
Caddy unbuttoned Jason. He began to cry.
“You want to get whipped.” Dilsey said. Jason hushed.
Quentin, Mother said in the hall.
What, Quentin said beyond the wall. We heard Mother lock the door. She looked in our door and came in and stooped over the bed and kissed me on the forehead.
When you get him to bed, go and ask Dilsey if she objects to my having a hot water bottle, Mother said. Tell her that if she does, I’ll try to get along without it. Tell her I just want to know.
Yessum, Luster said. Come on. Get your pants off.
Quentin and Versh came in. Quentin had his face turned away. “What are you crying for.” Caddy said.
“Hush.” Dilsey said. “You all get undressed, now. You can go on home, Versh.”
I got undressed and I looked at myself, and I began to cry. Hush, Luster said. Looking for them aint going to do no good. They’re gone. You keep on like this, and we aint going have you no more birthday. He put my gown on. I hushed, and then Luster stopped, his head toward the window. Then he went to the window and looked out. He came back and took my arm. Here she come, he said. Be quiet, now. We went to the window and looked out. It came out of Quentin’s window and climbed across into the tree. We watched the tree shaking. The shaking went down the tree, than it came out and we watched it go away across the grass. Then we couldn’t see it. Come on, Luster said. There now. Hear them horns. You get in that bed while my foots behaves.
There were two beds. Quentin got in the other one. He turned his face to the wall. Dilsey put Jason in with him. Caddy took her dress off.
“Just look at your drawers.” Dilsey said. “You better be glad your ma aint seen you.”
“I already told on her.” Jason said.
“I bound you would.” Dilsey said.
“And see what you got by it.” Caddy said. “Tattletale.”
“What did I get by it.” Jason said.
“Whyn’t you get your nightie on.” Dilsey said. She went and helped Caddy take off her bodice and drawers. “Just look at you.” Dilsey said. She wadded the drawers and scrubbed Caddy behind with them. “It done soaked clean through onto you.” she said. “But you wont get no bath this night. Here.” She put Caddy’s nightie on her and Caddy climbed into the bed and Dilsey went to the door and stood with her hand on the light. “You all be quiet now, you hear.” she said.
“All right.” Caddy said. “Mother’s not coming in tonight.” she said. “So we still have to mind me.”
“Yes.” Dilsey said. “Go to sleep, now.”
“Mother’s sick.” Caddy said. “She and Damuddy are both sick.”
“Hush.” Dilsey said. “You go to sleep.”
The room went black, except the door. Then the door went black. Caddy said, “Hush, Maury,” putting her hand on me. So I stayed hushed. We could hear us. We could hear the dark.
It went away, and Father looked at us. He looked at Quentin and Jason, then he came and kissed Caddy and put his hand on my head.
“Is Mother very sick.” Caddy said.
“No.” Father said. “Are you going to take good care of Maury.”
“Yes.” Caddy said.
Father went to the door and looked at us again. Then the dark came back, and he stood black in the door, and then the door turned black again. Caddy held me and I could hear us all, and the darkness, and something I could smell. And then I could see the windows, where the trees were buzzing. Then the dark began to go in smooth, bright shapes, like it always does, even when Caddy says that I have been asleep.