Kurt Vonnegut on clever jabs

The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.

History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again.

The worst thing that could happen to anybody, would be to not be used for anything by anybody.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Winston Churchill1874–1965

Thus far, the reputed idiot Bush has graduated from Yale and Harvard, made a stack of cash in the oil industry, become the first consecutive-term governor of Texas, defeated a dual-term VP for the presidency, and led his party to [November 5th’s] extraordinary triumphs. Let his opponents keep calling him stupid; if they do, within five years Bush will be King of England, the Pope, and world Formula One motor racing champion.

Tim Blairborn 1965

• Politics

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Mark Twain1835–1910