John Updike on the Internet

America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy.

We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one.

A leader is one who, out of madness or goodness, volunteers to take upon himself the woe of the people. There are few men so foolish, hence the erratic quality of leadership in the world.

I assume you are on the Internet. If you are not, then pardon my French, but vous êtes un big loser. Today EVERYBODY is on the Internet, including the primitive Mud People of the Amazon rain forest. In the old days, when the Mud People needed food, they had to manually throw spears at wild boars; whereas today they simply get on the Internet, go to www.spear-a-boar.com and click their mouse a few times (the Mud People use actual mice). Within three business days, a large box is delivered to them by a UPS driver, whom they eat.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry

The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, “people without lives.” We don’t care. We have each other…

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry

The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry