Abraham Lincoln on clever jabs

The Bible is not my book, and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma.

When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion.

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Winston Churchill1874–1965

Thus far, the reputed idiot Bush has graduated from Yale and Harvard, made a stack of cash in the oil industry, become the first consecutive-term governor of Texas, defeated a dual-term VP for the presidency, and led his party to [November 5th’s] extraordinary triumphs. Let his opponents keep calling him stupid; if they do, within five years Bush will be King of England, the Pope, and world Formula One motor racing champion.

Tim Blairborn 1965

• Politics

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Mark Twain1835–1910