Steven Wright

More from Steven Wright

• When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep well?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’

  • Sleep
  • Steven Wright

• I cried because I had no shoes, ‘till I met a man who had no feet. So I said, ‘You got any shoes you’re not using’?

  • Steven Wright

• I went into a restaurant and the sign said “Breakfast anytime,” so I ordered french toast during the Renaissance.

  • Steven Wright

All 22 quotes from Steven Wright

Popular quotes

• No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.

  John Donne1572–1631No Man Is an Island (1624), Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions (1624), Meditation 17In context

• I came, I saw, I conquered.

  Julius Caesar100–44 BCInscription on the triumphal wagon reported in The Twelve Caesars by Suetonius, as translated by Robert Graves (1957).

  • Success

• The unexamined life is not worth living.

  Socrates470–399 BCThe Apology of Socrates (399 BC)

  • Philosophy