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Mark Twain — Portrait after a picture by A.F. Bradley, New York (public domain), via Wikimedia Commons.

The quotations of

Mark Twain

American author and humorist

1835–1910

151 quotes, most often on Comedy, Truth & Lies and Morality. Part of the Writers collection.

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying ‘flee at once⁠—all is discovered.’ They all left town immediately.
- Morality
I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell⁠—you see, I have friends in both places.
- Morality
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.
To the Young People’s Society, Greenpoint Presbyterian Church, Brooklyn (16 February 1901)
- Morality
Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
Following the Equator (1897), Ch. 66, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar.
- Morality
It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good⁠—and less trouble.
- Morality
Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
Following the Equator (1897), Ch. 38, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar.
- Money
- Morality
What’s the use you learning to do right when it’s troublesome to do right and ain’t no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), Chapter XVIIn context
- Morality
I was a-trembling, because I’d got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. I studied a minute, sort of holding my breath, and then says to myself:
“All right, then, I’ll go to hell”
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), Chapter XXXIIn context
- Decisions
- Morality

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