P. J. O'Rourke

American political satirist and journalist

1947–2022

13 quotes, most often on Government, Comedy and Responsibility.

There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmas time. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.
- Christmas
A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relation. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing, too.
- Family
A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.
- Government
- Luck
A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
Modern Manners (1983)
Traffic was like a bad dog. It wasn’t important to look both ways when crossing the street; it was important to not show fear.
All the Trouble in the World (1994)
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
Parliament of Whores (1991), pp. xviii-xix.
- Government
Wherever there’s injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it’s happening.
Peace Kills: America’s Fun New Imperialism (2004)
- America
- War & Peace
There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
The Liberty Manifesto (1993)
- Freedom
- Responsibility
Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport⁠— two armed entrées battling to see who’ll be dinner.
Holidays in Hell (1989)
- Comedy
The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.
The Bachelor Home Companion (1986)
- Comedy
- Food
Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.
Parliament of Whores (1991)
- Democracy
- Government
Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history mankind has been bullied by scum.
Parliament of Whores (1991)
- Government
- Power
One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
Rolling Stone (30 November 1989)
- Responsibility

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