P. J. O'Rourke on comedy

There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmas time. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relation. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing, too.

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

Groucho Marx1890–1977

A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry