Gerald Ford on comedy

All of us who served in one war or another know very well that all wars are the glory and the agony of the young.

For millions of men and women, the church has been the hospital for the soul, the school for the mind and the safe depository for moral ideas.

I believe in friendly compromise. I said over in the Senate hearings that truth is the glue that holds government together. Compromise is the oil that makes governments go.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

Groucho Marx1890–1977

A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry