Groucho Marx on comedy

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men. The other 999 follow women.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep well?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’

Steven Wrightborn 1955

• Sleep
• Steven Wright