Laurence J. Peter on comedy

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought.

Going to church doesn’t make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

Groucho Marx1890–1977

A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry