Ambrose Bierce on comedy

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

Ocean: A body of water occupying 2/3 of a world made for man…who has no gills.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

Groucho Marx1890–1977

A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry