George Carlin on age

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in the oposite direction.

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Jack Benny1894–1974Often credited to Mark Twain