Frank Zappa on family

If you want to get laid, go to college, but if you want an education, go to the library.

The function of government ought to be: make sure you have good water to drink, somebody picking up the garbage, good roads to drive on, enough electricity to turn your light bulbs and your record player on, and whatever smaller amounts of regulatory assistance is necessary to make this society work.

Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny.

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

The family you come from isn’t as important as the family you’re going to have.

Ring Lardner1885–1933

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on-a-rope.

Bill Cosbyborn 1937