Yogi Berra on comedy

You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn’t enough in the second half you give what’s left.

It ain’t over till it’s over.

I couldn’t tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because it had a bag on it’s head.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

Groucho Marx1890–1977

A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry