William Shakespeare on comedy

If music be the food of love, play on.

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.

Cowards die many times before their deaths. The valiant never taste of death but once.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

Groucho Marx1890–1977

A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry