Jonathan Swift on comedy

We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.

When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

Groucho Marx1890–1977

A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry