Orson Welles on comedy

A poet needs a pen, a painter a brush, and a filmmaker an army.

You know what the fellow said: In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michaelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love⁠—they had five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock.

A film is never really any good unless the camera is an eye in the head of a poet.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

Groucho Marx1890–1977

A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry