Phyllis Diller on Christmas

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukkah’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!’

Dave Barryborn 1947“Christmas Shopping: A Survivor’s Guide”

• Dave Barry

How many observe Christ’s birthday! How few, his precepts! O! ‘tis easier to keep holidays than commandments.

Benjamin Franklin1706–1790Poor Richard’s Almanack

• Christianity

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ‘till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more?

Dr. Seuss1904–1991