Ellen DeGeneres on comedy

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• Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

  ?UnattributedOften credited to Benjamin Franklin

• Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

  Groucho Marx1890–1977

• A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.

  Dave Barryborn 1947

  • Dave Barry

All 1,001 quotes about comedy

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• No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.

  John Donne1572–1631No Man Is an Island (1624), Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions (1624), Meditation 17In context

• I came, I saw, I conquered.

  Julius Caesar100–44 BCInscription on the triumphal wagon reported in The Twelve Caesars by Suetonius, as translated by Robert Graves (1957).

  • Success

• The unexamined life is not worth living.

  Socrates470–399 BCThe Apology of Socrates (399 BC)

  • Philosophy