People/Jack Handey/Quote
If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it’s probably best to avoid eye contact.
Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy’s arm behind his back. NOW who’s asking the questions?
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he’s carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he’s carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you’re drunk.
When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, ‘I like mayonnaise.’ She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.
All 33 quotes from Jack Handey
How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before it’s afternoon. December is here before it’s June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?
Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
All 261 quotes about time
