Lily Tomlin on success

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.

Why is it when we talk to God we’re said to be praying — but when God talks to us, we’re said to be schizophrenic?

I came, I saw, I conquered.

Julius Caesar100–44 BCInscription on the triumphal wagon reported in The Twelve Caesars by Suetonius, as translated by Robert Graves (1957).

For the want of a nail, the shoe was lost; for the want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for the want of a horse the rider was lost, being overtaken and slain by the enemy, all for the want of care about a horseshoe nail.

Benjamin Franklin1706–1790Poor Richard’s Almanack

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.