Lily Tomlin on children

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.

Why is it when we talk to God we’re said to be praying — but when God talks to us, we’re said to be schizophrenic?

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their
food, and tyrannize their teachers.

Socrates470–399 BC

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Bill Cosbyborn 1937

Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is.