Stephen Colbert on television

Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don’t need to care about science, literature or peace.

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you’re in business, buddy.

We claim no respectability. There’s no status I would not surrender for a joke. So we don’t have to defend anything.

I wish TV had a knob so you could turn up the intelligence. The one marked Brightness doesn’t work.

Gallagher1946–2022

• Comedy

Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome.

T. S. Eliot1888–1965New York Post (Sept 22, 1963)

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Frank Lloyd Wright1867–1959