John Mulaney on religion

In terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.

I like having a puppy that’s a bulldog, ‘cause it’s like having a baby that is also a grandma.

For those of you who aren’t Catholic, I don’t mean to exclude you, although we love to exclude you.

The Bible is not my book, and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma.

Abraham Lincoln1809–1865

• Anti-Religion
• Christianity

A man’s ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.

Albert Einstein1879–1955Religion and Science (1930)

• Anti-Religion
• Morality

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.

Albert Einstein1879–1955Science and Religion (1941)

• Science