Johann Wolfgang von Goethe on comedy

Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.

That is the true season of love, when we believe that we alone can love, that no one could ever have loved so before us, and that no one will love in the same way after us.

Divide and rule, a sound motto. Unite and lead, a better one.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

Groucho Marx1890–1977

A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry