Will Rogers on comedy

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

I’m not a member of any organized political party, I’m a Democrat!

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

Groucho Marx1890–1977

A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry