Fran Lebowitz on comedy

Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.

All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

Groucho Marx1890–1977

A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry