The quotations of

Ambrose Bierce

American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist

1842–1914

88 quotes, most often on Comedy, Anti-Religion and Politics.

A kiss is but a modified bite, and a fond mother, when she rapturously avers that her babe is ‘almost good enough to eat,’ merely shows that she is herself only a trifle too good to eat it.
The Cynic’s Word Book (1906), p. 43 (Cannibal)
- Comedy
Dawn, n. The time when men of reason go to bed. Certain old men prefer to rise at about that time, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach, and otherwise mortifying the flesh.
The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)
- Comedy
- Sleep
Conservative, n. A statesman enamored of existing evils, as opposed to a Liberal, who wants to replace them with others.
The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)
- Clever Jabs
- Politics
When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward.
Epigrams, p. 354
- Advice
- Philosophy
Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.
The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)
- Comedy
- Nature
Gallows, n. A stage for the performance of miracle plays, in which the leading actor is translated to heaven.
The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)
- Comedy
- Life & Death
To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.
Epigrams, p. 346
- Humor
- Laughter
An army’s bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching.
What I Saw At Shiloh (1881), V
- Courage
- War & Peace
Zeus, n. The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.
The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)
A man stood upon a railroad bridge in northern Alabama, looking down into the swift water twenty feet below.
An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge (1890)In context
Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is to be received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him.
An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge (1890)In context
- Life & Death
Peyton Farquhar was dead; his body, with a broken neck, swung gently from side to side beneath the timbers of the Owl Creek bridge.
An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge (1890)In context
- Life & Death
The liberal military code makes provision for hanging many kinds of persons, and gentlemen are not excluded.
An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge (1890)In context
- Laws
- War & Peace

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