Fred Allen on television

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns⁠—he should be drawn and quoted.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.

I wish TV had a knob so you could turn up the intelligence. The one marked Brightness doesn’t work.

Gallagher1946–2022

• Comedy

Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome.

T. S. Eliot1888–1965New York Post (Sept 22, 1963)

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Frank Lloyd Wright1867–1959