Fred Allen1894–1956Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns—he should be drawn and quoted.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
Letter to Groucho Marx.- Treadmill to Oblivion.
- Attributed in Newsweek, 14 January 1980.
A good comedian can say things funny and other guys just say funny things.
Attributed by Robert Lemke in The Sunday Press (Binghamton, NY), “Rock ‘n Roll ‘Musically Horrid” Says Ex-2-a-Dayer,” pg. 2-C, col. 1 (9 August 1959)
