Rita Rudner on men

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I love being married, I do. It’s so great to find that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Robert A. Heinlein1907–1988Glory Road (1963)

• Animals
• Women

Men always want to be a woman’s first love; women have a more subtle instinct: what they like is to be a man’s last romance.

Oscar Wilde1854–1900

• Women

Men want a woman whom they can turn on and off like a light switch.

Ian Fleming1908–1964

• Sex
• Women