Rita Rudner on marriage

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Well, the old theory was “marry an older man because they’re more mature”. But the new theory is “men don’t mature — marry a young one”.

Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.

Amy Bloomborn 1953

• Love

Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in my bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.

Woody Allenborn 1935Standup Comic (1999)

• Comedy

My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not you’ll become a philosopher.

Socrates470–399 BC

• Philosophy