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Rita Rudner — Portrait after a picture by LOL Comedy from Hollywood (CC BY-SA 2.0), via Wikimedia Commons. This drawing is shared under the same licence.

The quotations of

Rita Rudner

American comedian

born 1953

5 quotes, most often on Marriage and Comedy.

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them.
- Children
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Marriage
I love being married, I do. It’s so great to find that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Best of the Improv, Vol. 3 (2003)
- Comedy
- Marriage
Well, the old theory was “marry an older man because they’re more mature”. But the new theory is “men don’t mature — marry a young one”.
Best of the Improv, Vol. 3 (2003)
- Marriage
- Men
Nobody is really happy with what’s on their head. People with straight hair want curly, people with curly want straight, and bald people want everyone to be blind.
Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992), p. 24
- Comedy

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