Woody Allen on comedy

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful⁠—provided you get between the right man and the right woman.

I feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it’s pretty damn good.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

Groucho Marx1890–1977

A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ten feet from the rest of his body, and he’d claim it was ‘just a sprain’.

Dave Barryborn 1947

• Dave Barry