Henny Youngman on men

My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up⁠—they have no holidays.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Robert A. Heinlein1907–1988Glory Road (1963)

• Animals
• Women

Men always want to be a woman’s first love; women have a more subtle instinct: what they like is to be a man’s last romance.

Oscar Wilde1854–1900

• Women

Men want a woman whom they can turn on and off like a light switch.

Ian Fleming1908–1964

• Sex
• Women