Johnny Carson on television

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

I wish TV had a knob so you could turn up the intelligence. The one marked Brightness doesn’t work.

Gallagher1946–2022

• Comedy

Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome.

T. S. Eliot1888–1965New York Post (Sept 22, 1963)

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Frank Lloyd Wright1867–1959