Johnny Carson1925–2005For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
