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Clever jabs

277 quotes from 161 people

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Never interrupt me when I’m trying to interrupt you.
Winston Churchill1874–1965
- Talking
He is a very modest man with a great deal to be modest about.
Winston Churchill1874–1965
This Treasury paper, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
Winston Churchill1874–1965As cited in Churchill by Himself (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 50, ISBN 1586486389
- Reading
Occasionally he stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened.
Winston Churchill1874–1965On Stanley Baldwin, as cited in Churchill by Himself (2008), Ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 322
- Truth & Lies
Lenin was sent into Russia by the Germans in the same way that you might send a phial containing a culture of typhoid or cholera to be poured into the water supply of a great city, and it worked with amazing accuracy.
Winston Churchill1874–1965On Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, in the House of Commons, November 5, 1919; as cited in Churchill by Himself (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 355
- History
So they go on in strange paradox, decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity, all powerful to be impotent.
Winston Churchill1874–1965Speech in the House of Commons, November 12, 1936 “Debate on the Address”, criticizing Stanley Baldwin’s record on rearmament against Hitler.
- Government
There is nothing so absurd that it has not been said by some philosopher.
Cicero107–43 BCDe Divinatione – On Divination (44 BC), Book II, chapter LVIII, section 119
- Philosophy
One cannot now say, the priest is as the people, for the truth is that the people are not so bad as the priest.
Bernard of Clairvaux1090–1153In Conversione S. Pauli, Sermon 1, sect. 3; translation by James Spedding, in The Works of Francis Bacon (1860) vol. 12, p. 134
- Religion
I wouldn’t wear a tie-dyed tee-shirt unless it was dyed with the urine of Phil Collins and the blood of Jerry Garcia.
KCKurt Cobain1967–1994As quoted in Melody Maker (18 July 1992)
- Music
Victor Hugo was a madman who thought he was Victor Hugo.
Jean Cocteau1889–1963Opium (1929)
Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don’t need to care about science, literature or peace.
Stephen Colbertborn 1964“A Mock Columnist, Amok”, in The New York Times (14 October 2007)
- Presidency
The greatest thing about this man is he’s steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday — no matter what happened Tuesday.
Stephen Colbertborn 1964White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner (April 2006)
- Presidency
And reality has a well-known liberal bias.
Stephen Colbertborn 1964White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner (April 2006)
- Politics
Reviewers are usually people who would have been poets, historians, biographers, etc., if they could; they have tried their talents at one or the other, and have failed; therefore they turn critics.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge1772–1834Lectures and Notes on Shakespeare and Other English Poets (1811–1818), Part I: “Lectures on Shakespeare and Milton. 1811–1812”, Lecture I, p. 36
- Writing
He has a woman’s name and wears makeup. How original.
Alice Cooperborn 1948On Marilyn Manson, as quoted in Celebrity Diss and Tell: Stars Talk About Each Other (2005) by Boze Hadleigh
- Music