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Clever jabs

277 quotes from 161 people

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Sigmund Freud was a novelist with a scientific background. He just didn’t know he was a novelist. All those damn psychiatrists after him, they didn’t know he was a novelist either.
John Irvingborn 1942Interview in Writers at Work: The Paris Review Interviews (1988)
- Writing
Crikey, mate. You’re far safer dealing with crocodiles and western diamondback rattlesnakes than the executives and the producers and all those sharks in the big MGM building.
Steve Irwin1962–2006from “Enough Rope With Andrew Denton” on ABC, 2004
- Movies
She had an unequalled gift, especially pen in hand, of squeezing big mistakes into small opportunities.
Henry James1843–1916“Greville Fane”, from The Real Thing: and Other Tales (1893)
- Failure
Knowing that religion does not furnish grosser bigots than law, I expect little from old judges.
Thomas Jefferson1743–1826Letter to Thomas Cooper (1810)
- Laws
Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?
Jesus7 BC–AD 30The Gospel of Matthew (1611), Matthew 23:33 (KJV)In context
I wish him the best, I really do. I just think he and Microsoft are a bit narrow. He’d be a broader guy if he had dropped acid once or gone off to an ashram when he was younger.
Steve Jobs1955–2011On Bill Gates as quoted in “Creating Jobs” in The New York Times (12 January 1997)
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: ‘President Can’t Swim.’
Lyndon B. Johnson1908–1973Often credited to Margaret Thatcher
- Journalism
Sir, a woman’s preaching is like a dog’s walking on his hinder legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.
Samuel Johnson1709–1784Life of Samuel Johnson (1791), Vol I (31 July 1763) p. 132. [Several editions have the variant “hind legs”.]
- Women
A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still.
Samuel Johnson1709–1784Life of Samuel Johnson (1791), Vol I (1754), p. 72 (n. 4)
That fellow seems to me to possess but one idea, and that is a wrong one.
Samuel Johnson1709–1784Life of Samuel Johnson (1791), Vol II (1770) p. 181
- Ideas
He is not only dull himself, but the cause of dullness in others.
Samuel Johnson1709–1784Life of Johnson (Boswell) (1784)
Sir, I have found you an argument; but I am not obliged to find you an understanding.
Samuel Johnson1709–1784Life of Samuel Johnson (1791), Vol IV (June 1784) p. 545
- Debate
OATS — A grain which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people.
Samuel Johnson1709–1784A Dictionary of the English Language (1755)
- Food
But if he does really think that there is no distinction between virtue and vice, why, Sir, when he leaves our houses let us count our spoons.
Samuel Johnson1709–1784Life of Samuel Johnson (1791), Vol I (14 July 1763) p. 123
- Virtue
Tom Birch is as brisk as a bee in conversation; but no sooner does he take a pen in his hand than it becomes a torpedo to him, and benumbs all his faculties.
Samuel Johnson1709–1784Life of Samuel Johnson (1791), Vol I (1743)
- Writing