Quotes from Steven Wright
20 quotes from 1 person
Last night I was playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wrightborn 1955I Have A Pony (1985)If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
I installed a skylight in my apartment yesterday. The people who live above me are furious.
I also bought some batteries, but they weren’t included, so I had to buy them again.
Steven Wrightborn 1955I Have A Pony (1985)I have a microwave fireplace. I can lay down in front of the fire for the evening in eight minutes.