Famously Said Random quote

Quotes about comedy

1,001 quotes from 337 people

Most readBy personPage 67 of 67

Such a book as Robinson Crusoe never was written, and never will be written again. I have tried that book for years⁠—generally in combination with a pipe of tobacco⁠—and I have found it my friend in need in all the necessities of this mortal life. When my spirits are bad⁠—Robinson Crusoe. When I want advice⁠—Robinson Crusoe.
Wilkie Collins1824–1889The Moonstone (1868), First Period: The Loss of the Diamond (1848), Chapter IIn context
- Reading
Unfortunately, I am involved in a freedom ride protesting the loss of the minority rights belonging to the few remaining earthbound stars. All we demanded was our right to twinkle.
Marilyn Monroe1926–1962Telegram, turning down a party invitation from Mr. and Mrs. Robert F. Kennedy (13 June 1962)
Well, you’ll never fly in it, you’re too fat to be an astronaut.
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh1921–2021Said at the University of Salford to a 13-year-old aspiring astronaut, who was wishing to fly the NOVA rocket, as quoted in of the gaffe: Prince Philip’s top ten embarrassing moments” in the Daily Mirror (14 December 2009).
The Internet doesn’t just offer opportunities for misogynistic abuse, you know. Penis enlargers can also be bought discreetly.
J. K. Rowlingborn 1965Tweet (8 May 2015), as cited in “J.K. Rowling Burns Twitter Troll With ‘Penis Enlargers’ Joke”, The Hollywood Reporter (8 May 2015)
- Clever Jabs
- Internet
I am not well read, but when I do read, I read well.
KCKurt Cobain1967–1994Journals (2002)
- Reading
I get offered so many bad movies. And they’re all raging queens or transvestites or Martians.
David Bowie1947–20161983 Comment, quoted in Halliwell’s Who’s Who in the Movies 15th Edition (2003) by Leslie Halliwell, p. 60
- Movies
The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse.
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis1929–1994Advice to her secretary; quoted in The Kennedys (1984) by Peter Collier and David Horowitz
A newspaper reported I spend $30,000 a year buying Paris clothes and that women hate me for it. I couldn’t spend that much unless I wore sable underwear.
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis1929–1994The New York Times (15 September 1960)
- Money
The hardest thing is trying not to correct everything on the Internet. It’d be night and day⁠—wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. So you just have to say, “All right, I’ll take it, bring it on.”
George Clooneyborn 1961“The 9:10 to Crazyland: George Clooney searches for George Clooney” by A.J. Jacobs, Esquire (April 2008), pp. 104–105
- Internet
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
The Bible (King James Version)Proverbs 26:11 (KJV)In context
- Clever Jabs
- Wisdom
Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?
Jesus7 BC–AD 30The Gospel of Matthew (1611), Matthew 23:33 (KJV)In context
- Clever Jabs