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One cannot now say, the priest is as the people, for the truth is that the people are not so bad as the priest.
Bernard of Clairvaux1090–1153In Conversione S. Pauli, Sermon 1, sect. 3; translation by James Spedding, in The Works of Francis Bacon (1860) vol. 12, p. 134
- Clever Jabs
- Religion
In the four quarters of the globe, who reads an American book? Or goes to an American play? or looks at an American picture or statue?
Sydney Smith1771–1845Referring to the lack of established culture and the established institution of slavery in the United States, in “Review of Seybert’s Annals of the United States”, The Edinburgh Review (1820), pp. 79-80
- America
- Clever Jabs
If it’s a choice between a genuine Republican, and a Republican in Democratic clothing, the people will choose the genuine article, every time.
Harry S. Truman1884–1972Address at the National Convention Banquet of the Americans for Democratic Action (May 17, 1952)
- Clever Jabs
- Politics
If I were granted omnipotence, and millions of years to experiment in, I should not think Man much to boast of as the final result of all my efforts.
Bertrand Russell1872–1970Religion and Science (1935)
- Anti-God
- Clever Jabs
He asked my religion and I replied ‘agnostic’. He asked how to spell it, and remarked with a sigh: ‘Well, there are many religions, but I suppose they all worship the same God.’
Bertrand Russell1872–1970The Autobiography of Bertrand Russell (1967-1969)
- Religion
The Falklands thing was a fight between two bald men over a comb.
Jorge Luis Borges1899–1986On the Falklands War, as quoted in Time magazine (14 February 1983)
- Clever Jabs
- War & Peace
I have tender feelings for Nixon, because everybody has warm feelings about their childhood.
Stephen Colbertborn 1964Rolling Stone interview (31 October 2006)
- Presidency
It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the expression “As pretty as an airport.”
Douglas Adams1952–2001The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul (1988), Ch. 1
- Clever Jabs
Pardon him, Theodotus: he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
George Bernard Shaw1856–1950Caesar and Cleopatra (1898)
- Clever Jabs
The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.
Tallulah Bankhead1902–1968Tallulah: My Autobiography (1952)
- Age
Congratulations, Dave, you’ve just constructed a straw man so large you could burn it in the desert and hold an annoying festival around it.
John Oliverborn 1977Last Week Tonight—Immigration, Stephen Hawking & Football (ff. 0:16:15) (15 June 2014)
- Clever Jabs
- Debate
Christmas is an awfulness that compares favorably with the great London plague and fire of 1665-66. No one escapes the feelings of mortal dejection, inadequacy, frustration, loneliness, guilt and pity.
Harlan Ellison1934–2018“No Offense Intended, But Fuck Xmas!” (1972) The Harlan Ellison Hornbook
- Christmas
Let’s be perfectly clear, shall we. The fox is not a little orange puppy dog with doe eyes and a waggly tail. It’s a disease-ridden wolf with the morals of a psychopath and the teeth of a great white shark.
Jeremy Clarksonborn 1960The World According to Clarkson (2005), “A Murderous Fox Has Made Me Shoot David Beckham”, p. 161
- Animals
There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one’s position, and be bruised in a new place.
Washington Irving1783–1859Tales of a Traveler (1824), Preface, p. 7
- Change
You don’t have to be born in New York City to be a New Yorker. You have to live here for six months. And if at the end of the six months you walk faster, you talk faster, you think faster, you’re a New Yorker.
Ed Koch1924–2013Interview (“What Makes a New Yorker”), New York: A Documentary Film, directed by Ric Burns, released in a series of episodes from 1999 to 2003