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Quotes about comedy

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Mr. Aldous Huxley, who is perhaps one of those people who have to perpetrate thirty bad novels before producing a good one, has a certain natural — but little developed — aptitude for seriousness.
T. S. Eliot1888–1965“The Contemporary English Novelist”, La Nouvelle Revue française (1 May 1927)
- Clever Jabs
- Writing
People are broad-minded. They’ll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn’t drive, there’s something wrong with him.
Art Buchwald1925–2007Have I Ever Lied to You? (1968).
Lenin was sent into Russia by the Germans in the same way that you might send a phial containing a culture of typhoid or cholera to be poured into the water supply of a great city, and it worked with amazing accuracy.
Winston Churchill1874–1965On Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, in the House of Commons, November 5, 1919; as cited in Churchill by Himself (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 355
- Clever Jabs
- History
What occultism needs is someone to open the window, it’s too stuffy and it smells.
Alan Mooreborn 1953De Abaitua interview (1998)
I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.
Frank Zappa1940–1993The Real Frank Zappa Book (1989), p. 239
- Intelligence
It is absolutely safe to say that if you meet somebody who claims not to believe in evolution, that person is ignorant, stupid or insane (or wicked, but I’d rather not consider that).
Richard Dawkinsborn 1941Reviewing Blueprints: Solving the Mystery of Evolution (1989) by Maitland A. Edey and Donald C. Johanson
- Clever Jabs
- Science
Man is a rational animal – so at least I have been told.
Bertrand Russell1872–1970Unpopular Essays (1950)
- Thinking
With four parameters I can fit an elephant, and with five I can make him wiggle his trunk.
John von Neumann1903–1957Attributed to von Neumann by Enrico Fermi, as quoted by Freeman Dyson in “A meeting with Enrico Fermi” in Nature 427 (22 January 2004) p. 297
- Science
You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It’s quite a simple difference, but an important one.
Douglas Adams1952–2001The Salmon of Doubt (2002)
Yes, there is a conspiracy, in fact there are a great number of conspiracies that are all tripping each other up. And all of those conspiracies are run by paranoid fantasists and ham-fisted clowns.
Alan Mooreborn 1953“The Mindscape of Alan Moore” (2003)
Such is our pride, our folly, or our fate,
That few but such as cannot write, translate.
John Denham1615–1669To Sir Richard Fanshaw (1648), line 1
- Clever Jabs
- Writing
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.
MHMitch Hedberg1968–2005Strategic Grill Locations
It’s called the American Dream, ‘cause you have to be asleep to believe it.
George Carlin1937–2008Life Is Worth Losing (2005), “Dumb Americans”
- America
A man must serve his time to every trade
Save censure — critics are ready-made.
Lord Byron1788–1824English Bards and Scotch Reviewers (1809), Line 63.
- Clever Jabs
An infinite God ought to be able to protect himself, without going in partnership with State Legislatures.
Robert G. Ingersoll1833–1899Some Mistakes of Moses (1879) Section III, “The Politicians”.