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Quotes about comedy

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When I read Shakespeare I am struck with wonder
that such trivial people should muse and thunder
in such lovely language.
D. H. Lawrence1885–1930Pansies (1929)
- Clever Jabs
- Writing
Never trust any complicated cocktail that remains perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds.
Terry Pratchett1948–2015alt.fan.pratchett (22 November 1993)
- Advice
When I was on my way to the podium a gentleman stopped me and said I was as good a politician as I was an actor. What a cheap shot.
Arnold Schwarzeneggerborn 1947Speech at the Republican National Convention (31 August 2004)
- Politics
And it is that word ‘hummy,’ my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
Dorothy Parker1893–1967Her “Constant Reader” book review of The House at Pooh Corner by A. A. Milne, in The New Yorker (October 20, 1928)
- Clever Jabs
- Writing
To say that his conscience was clear would be inaccurate, for he did not have a conscience, but he had what was much better, an alibi…
P. G. Wodehouse1881–1975The Girl in Blue (1970)
- Morality
Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
Douglas Adams1952–2001Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (1987)
Herodotus says, “Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.”
Mark Twain1835–1910A Horse’s Tale (1907), Acknowledgements
- History
No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned.
Samuel Johnson1709–1784Life of Samuel Johnson (1791), Vol I (March 1759) p. 97
There was an attraction at first that Mr Baldwin should not be clever. But when he forever sentimentalises about his own stupidity, the charm is broken.
John Maynard Keynes1883–1946Keynes Papers, as quoted in Robert Skidelsky, John Maynard Keynes, Vol. 2 (1992), p. 232
- Clever Jabs
Nobody is really happy with what’s on their head. People with straight hair want curly, people with curly want straight, and bald people want everyone to be blind.
Rita Rudnerborn 1953Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992), p. 24
I’m sure we all agree that we ought to love one another and I know there are people in the world that do not love their fellow human beings and I hate people like that.
Tom Lehrer1928–2025That Was the Year That Was (1965), Introduction to “National Brotherhood Week”
- Love
He is a stranger to me, but he is a most remarkable man — and I am the other one. Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known, and I know the rest.
Mark Twain1835–1910Statement (1906) in Mark Twain in Eruption: Hitherto Unpublished Pages About Men and Events (1940) edited by Bernard DeVoto
- Knowledge
The greatest thing about this man is he’s steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday — no matter what happened Tuesday.
Stephen Colbertborn 1964White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner (April 2006)
- Clever Jabs
- Presidency
Bishop Berkeley destroyed this world in one volume octavo; and nothing remained after his time, but mind — which experienced a similar fate from the hand of Mr. Hume, in 1737.
Sydney Smith1771–1845Elementary Sketches of Moral Philosophy (1849), Introduction
- Philosophy
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make one out on the level, you don’t know when it’s through if you are a Crook or a Martyr.
Will Rogers1879–1935The Illiterate Digest (1924)
- Money
- Truth & Lies