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I don’t know about you, but I practice a disorganized religion. I belong to an unholy disorder. We call ourselves “Our Lady of Perpetual Astonishment.”
Kurt Vonnegut1922–2007A Man Without a Country (2005)
- Religion
O you miserable scoundrel, what I shit is better than anything you ever thought.
Ludwig van Beethoven1770–1827Written in the margin of Gottfried Weber’s negative review of Wellington’s Victory in Beethoven’s copy of Cäcilia (August 1825)
- Clever Jabs
It is all well and good for children and acid freaks to still believe in Santa Claus — but it is still a profoundly morbid day for us working professionals.
Hunter S. Thompson1937–2005“Fear and Loathing in Elko” Rolling Stone (23 January 1992)
- Christmas
When I appear in public, people expect me to neigh, grind my teeth, paw the ground, and swish my tail, none of which is easy!
Anne, Princess Royalborn 1950Susan Ratcliffe (2010) Oxford Dictionary of Quotations by Subject. p. 411: On her “horsey” reputation
- Fame
I really liked Deadheads and the whole Dead concert scene: the tailgating, the tie-dye uniforms, the camaraderie — it was like NASCAR for potheads.
Ann Coulterborn 1961Interview in Jambands (June 23, 2006).
- Music
I slept with some nerd. I hope it was George [Lucas]. I took too many drugs to remember.
Carrie Fisher1956–2016In a Vanity Fair interview when asked how she got the part in Star Wars
- Movies
Well, whoever Keyser Söze is, I can tell you he is going to get gloriously drunk tonight.
Kevin Spaceyborn 1959Oscar acceptance speech, Best Supporting Actor, The Usual Suspects (25 March 1996)
- Movies
Chicago is the product of modern capitalism, and, like all other great commercial centers, is unfit for human habitation.
Eugene V. Debs1855–1926What’s the matter with Chicago? (1902)
- Clever Jabs
- Economics
If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody could convict you.
Lindsey Graham1955–2026Washington Press Club Foundation Congressional Dinner (25 February 2016)
- Clever Jabs
- Politics
You know how to make America great again? Tell Donald Trump to go to Hell.
Lindsey Graham1955–2026“Graham: Trump is a ‘race-baiting, xenophobic’ bigot (2015)” CNN (December 8, 2015)
- Clever Jabs
- Politics
Let me tell you what really happened… Every night before I go to bed, I have milk and cookies. One night I mixed some low-fat milk and some pasteurized, then I dipped my cookie in and the shit blew up.
Richard Pryor1940–2005Live on the Sunset Strip (1982), opening his routine about his 1980 freebasing fire
I’d move to Los Angeles if New Zealand and Australia were swallowed up by a tidal wave, if there was a bubonic plague in England and if the continent of Africa disappeared from some Martian attack.
Russell Croweborn 1964New York Daily News (2000)
- Clever Jabs
If you can’t think because you can’t chew, try a banana.
Lee Kuan Yew1923–2015Responding to a BBC reporter who suggested that Singapore’s draconian laws (including the ban on chewing gum) could stifle the people’s creativity (2000).
- Clever Jabs
- Thinking
I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
Ron Whiteborn 1956They Call Me Tater Salad (2004)
I find a lot of comfort in having one sex partner. That is because she knows what I like and I know what she won’t do.
Ron Whiteborn 1956Behavioral Problems (2009)
- Sex