Famously Said Random quote

Quotes about comedy

1,001 quotes from 337 people

Most readBy personPage 64 of 67

Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a… car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.
CWChief Wiggum
- The Simpsons
She didn’t reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police! Now where did I put my badge?…Hey, that duck’s got it!
CWChief Wiggum
- The Simpsons
Oh, man, what a day. It’s no cakewalk being a single parent, juggling a career and family like so many juggling balls… two, I suppose.
CWChief Wiggum
- The Simpsons
What IS your fascination with my forbidden closet of mysteries?
CWChief Wiggum
- The Simpsons
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
Oscar Wilde1854–1900“The Philosophy of Dress”, The New-York Tribune, 1885. For an analysis see Fashion a Form of Ugliness, oscarwildeinamerica.org (retrieved 9 May 2026)
- Clever Jabs
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Oscar Wilde1854–1900
- Clever Jabs
Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.
Oscar Wilde1854–1900
- Clever Jabs
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
Oscar Wilde1854–1900The Importance of Being Earnest (1895), Act IIIn context
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox — the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
Oscar Wilde1854–1900A Woman of No Importance (1893)
- Clever Jabs
I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy.
Oscar Wilde1854–1900The Importance of Being Earnest (1895), Act IIIn context
The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one.
Oscar Wilde1854–1900The Picture of Dorian Gray (1891), Chapter XVIIIn context
- Clever Jabs
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
Oscar Wilde1854–1900The Picture of Dorian Gray (1891), Chapter XIXIn context
- Youth
Really, if the lower orders don’t set us a good example, what on earth is the use of them?
Oscar Wilde1854–1900The Importance of Being Earnest (1895), First Act, spoken by AlgernonIn context
- Clever Jabs
Divorces are made in Heaven
Oscar Wilde1854–1900The Importance of Being Earnest (1895), First Act, spoken by AlgernonIn context
- Marriage
The amount of women in London who flirt with their own husbands is perfectly scandalous. It looks so bad. It is simply washing one’s clean linen in public.
Oscar Wilde1854–1900The Importance of Being Earnest (1895), First Act, spoken by AlgernonIn context
- Marriage