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Quotes about comedy

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The hotel shop only had two decent books, and I’d written both of them.
Douglas Adams1952–2001The Salmon of Doubt (2002)
- Writing
A learning experience is one of those things that say, “You know that thing you just did? Don’t do that.”
Douglas Adams1952–2001Interview in The Daily Nexus (5 April 2000), reprinted in The Salmon of Doubt
- Experience
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a nonworking cat.
Douglas Adams1952–2001Douglas Adams. The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time. New York: Random House, 2002, 135–136.
- Science
If the Universe came to an end every time there was some uncertainty about what had happened in it, it would never have got beyond the first picosecond. And many of course don’t.
Douglas Adams1952–2001Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (1987)
- Science
My absolute favourite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees.
Douglas Adams1952–2001The Salmon of Doubt (2002)
- Animals
The most important skill for any leader is the ability to take credit for things that happen on their own.
Scott Adams1957–2026The Dilbert Principle (1996)
- Leadership
Hopelessness isn’t the same as happiness, but it’s enough to make the employees stop complaining, and that’s a good start.
Scott Adams1957–2026Dogbert’s Top Secret Management Handbook (1996)
- Work
You were merely asked to bend, but you chose to crawl.
L. K. Advaniborn 1927To the Indian press as Information and Broadcasting Minister (1977), on its conduct during the Emergency
- Clever Jabs
- Journalism
In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism.
Spiro Agnew1918–1996Speech in San Diego (September 11, 1970)
- Clever Jabs
- Journalism
The good thing about being a hypocrite is that you get to keep your values.
Alan Aldaborn 1936as interviewed on NPR’s Here & Now, “A Conversation with Alan Alda”, September 13, 2007.
- Morality
I’ve seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won.
Muhammad Ali1942–2016
- Clever Jabs
Joe Frazier is so ugly that when he cries, the tears turn around and go down the back of his head.
Muhammad Ali1942–2016On Joe Frazier
- Clever Jabs
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns⁠—he should be drawn and quoted.
Fred Allen1894–1956
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Fred Allen1894–1956
- Clever Jabs
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
Fred Allen1894–1956Letter to Groucho Marx.
- Clever Jabs