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Lenin was sent into Russia by the Germans in the same way that you might send a phial containing a culture of typhoid or cholera to be poured into the water supply of a great city, and it worked with amazing accuracy.
Winston Churchill1874–1965On Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, in the House of Commons, November 5, 1919; as cited in Churchill by Himself (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 355
- Clever Jabs
- History
So they go on in strange paradox, decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity, all powerful to be impotent.
Winston Churchill1874–1965Speech in the House of Commons, November 12, 1936 “Debate on the Address”, criticizing Stanley Baldwin’s record on rearmament against Hitler.
- Clever Jabs
- Government
Almost no one dances sober, unless he is insane.
Cicero107–43 BCPro Murena (Chapter VI, sec. 13)
- Dancing
There is nothing so absurd that it has not been said by some philosopher.
Cicero107–43 BCDe Divinatione – On Divination (44 BC), Book II, chapter LVIII, section 119
- Clever Jabs
- Philosophy
One cannot now say, the priest is as the people, for the truth is that the people are not so bad as the priest.
Bernard of Clairvaux1090–1153In Conversione S. Pauli, Sermon 1, sect. 3; translation by James Spedding, in The Works of Francis Bacon (1860) vol. 12, p. 134
- Clever Jabs
- Religion
Let’s be perfectly clear, shall we. The fox is not a little orange puppy dog with doe eyes and a waggly tail. It’s a disease-ridden wolf with the morals of a psychopath and the teeth of a great white shark.
Jeremy Clarksonborn 1960The World According to Clarkson (2005), “A Murderous Fox Has Made Me Shoot David Beckham”, p. 161
- Animals
Like many men, I can never find anything that I’m looking for, even when I’m actually looking at it.
Jeremy Clarksonborn 1960Sunday Times September 6, 2009
- Men
Basil Fawlty was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean, uptight, incompetent bully comes naturally to me.
John Cleeseborn 1939On Fresh Air with Terry Gross (1997)
- Acting
The hardest thing is trying not to correct everything on the Internet. It’d be night and day⁠—wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. So you just have to say, “All right, I’ll take it, bring it on.”
George Clooneyborn 1961“The 9:10 to Crazyland: George Clooney searches for George Clooney” by A.J. Jacobs, Esquire (April 2008), pp. 104–105
- Internet
If you’re really a mean person you’re going to come back as a fly and eat poop.
KCKurt Cobain1967–1994As quoted in Monk Magazine (October 1992)
I wouldn’t wear a tie-dyed tee-shirt unless it was dyed with the urine of Phil Collins and the blood of Jerry Garcia.
KCKurt Cobain1967–1994As quoted in Melody Maker (18 July 1992)
- Clever Jabs
- Music
I am not well read, but when I do read, I read well.
KCKurt Cobain1967–1994Journals (2002)
- Reading
Victor Hugo was a madman who thought he was Victor Hugo.
Jean Cocteau1889–1963Opium (1929)
- Clever Jabs
Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don’t need to care about science, literature or peace.
Stephen Colbertborn 1964“A Mock Columnist, Amok”, in The New York Times (14 October 2007)
- Clever Jabs
- Presidency
Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you’re in business, buddy.
Stephen Colbertborn 1964The Colbert Report (14 May 2008)
- Business