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MEGAHERTZ: This is a really, really big hertz.
Dave Barryborn 1947
- Dave Barry
In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West⁠—the Grand Canyon, the Badlands, the Goodlands, the Mediocrelands, the Rocky Mountains and Robert Redford⁠—were caused by erosion.
Dave Barryborn 1947
- Dave Barry
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
Dave Barryborn 1947
- Dave Barry
Stuffwise we are not a lean operation. We’re the kind of people who, if we were deciding what absolute minimum essential items we’d need to carry in our backpacks for the final, treacherous ascent to the summit of Mount Everest, would take along aquarium filters, just in case.
Dave Barryborn 1947
- Dave Barry
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.
Dave Barryborn 1947The Taming of the Screw (1983)
- Dave Barry
To you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a “pain in the neck,” the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life.
Dave Barryborn 1947
- Dave Barry
Sharks are hardy creatures, but they do not thrive on public transportation.
Dave Barryborn 1947I’ll Mature When I’m Dead (2010), p. 83
- Animals
To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
Bernard Baruch1870–1965On his 85th birthday, as quoted in The Observer [London] (21 August 1955)
- Age
“Oh, no, my dear; I’m really a very good man; but I’m a very bad Wizard, I must admit.”
L. Frank Baum1856–1919The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (1900), Chapter XVIn context
- Character
I am such a good man, at bottom, such a good man, how is it that nobody ever noticed it?
Samuel Beckett1906–1989Malone Dies (1951)
There is no such thing as preaching patience into people, unless the sermon is so long that they have to practise it while they hear.
Henry Ward Beecher1813–1887Life Thoughts (1858), p. 61
- Religion
O you miserable scoundrel, what I shit is better than anything you ever thought.
Ludwig van Beethoven1770–1827Written in the margin of Gottfried Weber’s negative review of Wellington’s Victory in Beethoven’s copy of Cäcilia (August 1825)
- Clever Jabs
Matilda told such Dreadful Lies,
It made one Gasp and Stretch one’s Eyes;
Hilaire Belloc1870–1953Matilda (1907)In context
- Truth & Lies
For every time She shouted “Fire!”
They only answered “Little Liar!”
And therefore when her Aunt returned,
Matilda, and the House, were Burned.
Hilaire Belloc1870–1953Matilda (1907)In context
- Truth & Lies
She was what we used to call a suicide blond⁠—dyed by her own hand.
Saul Bellow1915–2005
- Clever Jabs